The Fear No One Talks About

It’s Face Your Fear Week on Sage Grayson Coaching. I’m sharing posts about confronting your fears so you can live your happiest, most-authentic life.

I’ve found it’s easier to admit your fears to others when it’s something that most people can relate to.

Of course we fear creepy strangers, being out of the loop, looking foolish, and man-eating grizzlies. Those things fall under what I like to call “acceptable fears.”

But what about the type of fear no one talks about? The one that few people will admit to having? The one that doesn’t make much sense and kind of makes you look like a loser?

Well, I’m waving my loser flag proudly today! We could all benefit from some honesty.

I have a fear of success…and I bet you do a little bit too.

When I think about what my life would be like if I succeeded in all my endeavors, my heart starts beating fast. True, some of that is excitement, but some of it is fear too.

Have you ever had a big goal that you couldn’t reach no matter what you did? A subconscious fear of success might have been working against you.

Why We Fear Success

It sounds silly, right? Why would anyone fear success?

If anything, we’re OBSESSED with success. We want to lose weight and rock a bikini, get a new job or start a business, get organized, find love, and make self-care a priority.

Why would we be scared of getting all those good things?

When you think about it, success brings a lot of changes to your life, and not all of them are positive. For example, losing weight might make you feel fabulous, but your partner might feel abandoned now that you won’t pig out on the couch with him or her anymore.

If you get promoted at work, you’ll get a bigger paycheck, but you’ll also get bigger responsibilities and possibly longer work hours.

Click to tweet: Success isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, and it’s normal to fear the consequences. via @SageGrayson1

Nearly all of my clients are working on breaking through their self-sabotaging behaviors that keep them from success. When we examine the things they fear about success (losing friends, a busy schedule, loss of identity), then we can determine whether the pros outweigh the cons and if this is an outcome they should be chasing.

As for me, I know in my heart that I want to empower as many women as I can so they can live the lives they’ve always imagined. But since I run an online business, I’m leaving myself open to criticism and judgments in a way that I wouldn’t be if I had a brick and mortar coaching center. Like in a strip mall next to IHOP…

My fear of success most likely comes from the years of abuse I experienced from bullies and my family. My past sucks, but I can’t let it affect my future.

But you know what keeps me chugging along despite my fear? I need to be out here for all the women who fear success so they know it’s worth it. Even if everything changes.

And so do you.

You NEED to succeed at whatever it is you want more than anything in the world. There are people watching you right now (even if you’re not aware of them), and they WILL notice if you do what you say you’re going to do.

Maybe it’s your kids. Or your best friend. Or your partner. Or your dog.

You need to succeed so they know it’s possible. And then they’ll follow their dreams too, despite being scared.

Let’s do this!

Do you have a fear of success?

In the comments below, share one of your big goals and why you may be unconsciously sabotaging yourself.

And if you want help finding your fearless side, check out my Editor Session life coaching program. You’ll learn how to pinpoint exactly what you want, how to remove the blocks that are stopping you, and create a foolproof plan to reach your goal. Click here for all the details.


  1. Ashley Urke | Domestic Fashionista on November 1, 2013 at 3:14 pm

    My number one fear of success definitely stems to failure. I think I have a bit of a pride issue! 😉 But I am trying to let go of lies I have about myself and get myself to have the confidence to seek those goals and dreams I have for myself!

    And P.S. I like your new profile photo! Too cute!

  2. Molly on November 1, 2013 at 2:53 am

    This is so true! I’ve sabotaged myself enough times to stop & question why.

    • Sage Grayson on November 1, 2013 at 7:57 am

      And it’s so frustrating! We all want to reach our goals, but sometimes the consequences can be scary enough to make us stop what we’re doing.