Would You Please Shut Up?
I hate to be the one to break it to you but…no one cares.
Seriously, no one cares.
No one cares about your dramas, how sick you are, the fight you had with your husband, how much you spent on your new car, or who you think is out to get you.
We’re tired of your bitching and whining.
We’re tired of your one-upping and lying.
We’re tired of your Debbie Downer attitude.
So shut up!
The world doesn’t owe you anything, and the sooner you realize this, the sooner you can take responsibility and make positive changes.
I once worked in a department of about 20 people. My coworkers and I got along pretty well, and we’d often go out to lunch together, share personal stories, and be friendly.
It was a great place to work…that is, except for one coworker who I’ll call S. It wasn’t that S was a bad person, but she had this way of making everyone uncomfortable.
She was a huge complainer. A friendly “good morning” would be met with a sigh and an explanation of how awful her morning was going and how she was having the worst day of her life.
It was always a struggle for S to get her work done because nothing ever went her way. She’d misplace her report or lose a client’s phone number. And then there was that time a pen exploded all over her during a meeting.
She’d just add it to her ever-growing list of inconveniences and disappointments.
Once, S went on and on in great detail about how she found a Band-Aid in a fast food cheeseburger and was looking forward to all the money she was going to get for suing the company.
It was gross: the description of her meal and her entitled attitude.
Not surprisingly, S was always sick, and snotty Kleenexes littered her desk. My coworkers and I tried to avoid her because we could feel her bad mood rubbing off on us.
I eventually left that job, but I’d hear stories from friends about what new catastrophe S was dealing with this week. It felt so good to be out from under her black cloud.
I like to think that I’m a kind person, but I realize now that I wasn’t helping S by listening to her tales of woe. In retrospect, I wish I had told her that no one wants to hear her complain.
I wish I had asked her to tell me about the best part of her day.
I wish I had asked her what makes her happy.
So let me tell you what I should have told her: please shut up.
Stop your complaining. Stop it right now.
I don’t care if you think your life sucks. I don’t care if you think your boss is Satan himself.
We all have bad things in our lives. We all experience disappointments. Complaining doesn’t take the pain away—it intensifies it.
By indulging in whining, criticizing, and gossiping, you are perpetuating your unhappiness.
It doesn’t matter that I might not know you. I care about you, and I don’t want you wasting your life by seeing the glass half empty.
So shut up!
If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. And I challenge you to look around and find something—anything—nice in the world.
I promise you there is something wonderful in your life if you just look for it.
Then by all means, please tell me all about it.
Do you know a chronic complainer?
What makes you happy right now?
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I’m unfortunately very guilty of being a complainer. I’m very aware of it though and I try really hard to be on top of it but there are definitely times where I let me mood get the better of me and I turn into a total whiner. Next time I feel it coming on I’m going to tell myself to shut up! 😀
Haha, I need to remind myself to shut up too sometimes! No one wants to be a whiner.
I overheard a girl FREAKING out over her “crappy” roller bag beginning to fall apart. I know it sucks to have stuff fall apart, but it looked cheap and she was slinging it everywhere. Plus I really wanted to turn around and tell her “it’s JUST a bag, not the end of the world”…
Sometimes stuff sucks, sometimes we need to vent, but you shouldn’t only use your friends to vent. My mom got on a really bad track of wanting to call and complain about everything ever. I had to stop talking to her because the negativity was draining me soo much.
Oh my gosh, I know exactly the type of entitled brat you’re talking about. Why do people complain about the littlest things to anyone who will listen? It’s so draining. 🙁
Very nice! I’ve worked with a few constant complainers in the past and it can be so draining. Now I work with people who are mostly positive. They’ll vent a bit, but have a pretty upbeat attitude about everything. It makes a huge difference!
Complainers are so draining. I’ve become very selective about who I spend my time with now because I know their bad moods can rub off on me.
Amen to this post!! I totally agree with you! Its funny a few months ago i made a conscious effort to stop complaining and it made me realize how much my hubby complained. He is now trying to look for the positive. Lets start looking for the best in others and life. Just fyi, did you know you are no reply blogger? It means it does not allow blogs to reply to your comments you leave. Message me at email@example.com if you want me to to tell you how to change that setting.
Hey Kate, I’ll email you about being a no-reply blogger. Someone else mentioned that before but I have no idea how to fix it. I’m having issues with my comments on my website too because Disqus stopped working when I switched to https.
I try to make a conscious effort not to complain. It doesn’t serve any purpose. I figure my time and energy would be better spent DOING something about the problem rather than just complaining.