The Green-Eyed Monster Strikes Again: Handling Jealousy


I’m in a mastermind group of other coaches, and we often share our triumphs and struggles on Facebook.

Whenever one of my coaching friends gets a new client or sells out her program, I’m always there cheering her on and patting her on the back.

But sometimes…sometimes I don’t feel so happy for my friends…sometimes I feel downright jealous.

I get jealous of other people’s snazzy websites, their team of assistants, or their life-changing products and services that make mine seem like junky fortune cookie advice (“You will achieve greatness…in bed”).

People don’t like to admit when they feel jealous, and I certainly don’t. But jealousy is a normal human emotion, and its purpose is to help us, not drive us crazy.

Here are some tips for handling jealousy so you don’t turn into a green-eyed monster.

Get Your Chill On

This is so obvious, right? When you’re feeling jealous, the very first thing you should do is chill out. Take a break and sit with the emotion. You don’t want to fire off a snarky email that will only make you sound like a bitch. Breathe, meditate, go for a walk, or just sit quietly with your thoughts.

List Your Accomplishments

When it seems like everyone else is light years ahead, it’s easy to forget how far you’ve come. Get out a notebook and write down all of the accomplishments you’ve had in that field. What steps did you take? What skills did you master? How many hours did you work and practice? What’s changed since you’ve started?

When I look at all the successes I’ve had with my business, I realize I have a lot to be proud of. I put in some hard work! And even if I haven’t reached the level of success as some of my peers, there are other people who would love to be in my shoes. I am very grateful for being right where I am.

Learn From Them

Jealousy is all about wanting what someone else has. Consider what you can learn from that person. If you’re jealous of someone who has better behaved kids than yours, ask her what techniques she uses to get the kids to stop pushing or go to bed on time.

If they have a better way of doing whatever it is you want (to lose weight, to make sales, to put together a stylish outfit), it’s in your best interest to learn from them.

Take Action

If you’re busy taking action, you won’t be wasting time moping around like a jealous loser. Get out there and do something! What actionable steps can you do today or this week to get you heading in the direction you want to go?

What did you learn about how that other person handles her work? Is there a new habit, system, or routine that you can implement starting now?

I expect to feel jealous from time to time (that’s life!). But I won’t let it hold me back.

In fact, I want to feel so good about my life that I make people jealous of me!

What’s your best tip for handling jealousy?

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  1. Sandra Pawula on September 23, 2014 at 1:20 pm

    Rejoice for the other person!

  2. Ashley Urke | Domestic Fashionista on March 7, 2013 at 12:36 pm

    Great tips Sage! And I appreciate that you mention jealousy is supposed to help us. I imagine it drives us to be better and strive for things we would not have sought after without the jealousy pushing us.

    • Sage Grayson on March 7, 2013 at 8:54 pm

      Thanks, Ashley! You’re right, some of my best work has come out of me wanting to produce something as good as the person I’m jealous of.

  3. Sarah @ This Is What I Eat on March 7, 2013 at 2:58 pm

    Such great advice Sage! I definitely fall victim to the green eyed monster. More often than I’d like to admit. I love the idea that it’s supposed to help us and I am going to keep that in mind. It should serve as motivation because we are all capable of achieving greatness 🙂

    • Sage Grayson on March 7, 2013 at 8:52 pm

      Yep. Whenever I’m jealous, I see it as an opportunity to improve. And when I think about it, I’m usually being lazy about something and jealousy gives me the kick in the ass I needed.

  4. Rambling Vegans on March 7, 2013 at 2:17 pm

    Wonderful advice! I read (on Pinterest, I think) that jealousy/comparison is the thief of joy. So true! 🙂

    • Sage Grayson on March 7, 2013 at 8:53 pm

      Very true! Moping around in my jealousy always wrecks my mood.