We’ve all had bad things happen to us. It’s part of the human experience.
- Maybe you’ve experienced the death of a loved one.
- Maybe you’ve suffered a violent attack or accident.
- Maybe you’ve been accused of something you did not do.
- Maybe you’ve had your heart broken too many times to count.
- Maybe you were humiliated at work and subsequently fired.
It’s a wonder we even get out of bed in the mornings!
With all the hurt, anger, helplessness, hopelessness, and despair we face in our lives, it’s easy to feel sorry for ourselves.
I hate to break it to you, but I’m serving up a big ol’ bowl of tough love today.
Here’s the truth: you are not a victim.
Did you get that? How ‘bout one more time?
You are not a victim.
It doesn’t matter what’s happened to you. You could be sitting on the witness stand right now pointing to the person who hurt you, and I’d still say the same thing—you are not a victim!
The problem with people who have been hurt (and that’s everyone on the planet) is that we think we’re special. We think our hurt is bigger than everyone else’s hurt.
They didn’t go through what I’ve been through! They have no idea how it feels!
And you’re right, of course. No one knows exactly how you’re feeling…the exact level of betrayal, anger, or misery.
But we all ARE hurting, just in our own way.
It’s easier to go through life holding on to our hurt like a security blanket. We wrap ourselves with the label “VICTIM” and go to great lengths to make sure everyone else knows it.
But you’re not a victim.
Victims are weak.
Victims have given up.
Victims relive the hurt over and over again like a broken record.
Victims let the hurt define them for the rest of their lives.
That’s no way to live—fuck, that’s not even living!
You’ve got to erase the term victim from your vocabulary. It’s time to choose a new label; something empowering and strong!
Think about it. What’s a better label? Keep saying it until it sounds true.
You are a survivor! You are a thriver!
You are a fighter, and you need to fight for the person you were before you labeled yourself as a victim.
Who was she? What did she believe in? Was she hopeful? Was there a light inside her?
And I bet she’d be disappointed in how you’re behaving now. Who do you think you are?
Only you can decide that, but one thing is certain:
You are not a victim. So stop acting like one.
When have you fallen into the trap of calling yourself a victim? How did you drop the label and start building yourself up again? Let me know in the comments!